On an extremely serious note: Bride Snatching

We met Jackie in a guest house in Karakol, Kyrgyzstan. She is a photojournalist currently working on a piece about the Kyrgyz phenomenon/tradition of bride kidnapping. The way she described it:

The parents of a son expect him to take a bride soon after they build a new house for him and his family to live in. If he is not dating anyone or a marriage hasn't been arranged, he might kidnap a bride. Sometimes the kidnapped woman is someone he may know, either from school or a friend etc., or she may be a stranger on the street. He rounds up a few of his friends and prowls the streets by car. When he finds the appropriate women, they grab her and throw her into the car and forcefully take her back to his home. Once there, he will most likely force himself upon her regardless of concent, ie rape her. The village matriarchs will be there to comfort her telling the new bride that "this is our culture" and "this is how it's been done for hundreds of years." They put a white scarf on her head, which is the cultural form of the contractual binding of their marriage.
They keep the bride behind a curtain in a separate room in the house and have people from around the village come and pay to get a glimpse of the new bride. A delegation is sent by the husband's family to the bride's to negotiate the actual marriage. The delegation usually brings gifts as a sort of dowry.

I have recently witnessed a kidnapping in its terrible entirety. I thought of Jackie and wrote her an email:

Jackie,

This is Jono - we met at the guesthouse in Karakol; I was the American with a moustache.
My eyes are watering with tears now as I begin to think about the terrified girl I just saw being throw into a car by 7 men on the streets of Osh. Let me tell you what happened:

Matt and I had just sat down at an Uzbek restaurant after commenting to each other how we heard that the streets of Osh could be dangerous at night, and after dinner we should go straight back to the guest house.
After being served two bowls of black tea, I noticed two girls walking quickly whilst being followed by a horde (no pun intended) of men. Suddenly the girls grabbed each others hands and began to run. The men chased them maybe 10 meters until the moment they passed by our table and both of them were grabbed from behind in a sort of bear-hug. One of the struggling women punched one of the men in the face, but, by that point, any attempt to escape would have been more than futile. The other girl was dragged by one of the men into a small, white car that had seemingly appeared from nowhere. 4 of the men got into the car with the woman (1 in front and 3 in back), the last man slamming the right-side door a couple of times before actually getting it shut. I didn't see where the other 2 men went, but when I scanned the area for them, they were nowhere in sight. The girl who was left took out her cell phone - probably simply as a panic response, but realizing soonafter that there was nobody she could call to help the situation.

This is a scene I will replay over and over in my mind, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to shake it. These women were clearly modern women, wearing western clothes, with cell phones, and purses, about 28 years old I'd say. I think I would be safe to say that neither of these women grew up talking to their girl friends saying "I want to get an education and a university degree, then work for about 6 or 7 years. After that, I hope I get kidnapped by a mob of men and settle down with a stranger." And I seriously doubt her mother would look on as the unshaven Kyrgyz man manhandles her daughter and says with a gold-toothed smile: "I remember my first kidnapping," without thinking, even for the tiniest iota of a moment "there is something
wrong with this."

After witnessing this, there is no way that I can say this isn't a clear and awful violation of human rights. It is a cultural remnant of a patriarchal time that no longer has a place in a modern society. When I first heard your stories of this happening in the countryside, it seemed more plausible, but in Osh?

I continue to see the terrified face of that one girl and I imagine her speeding away, tears streaming down her face. Then they get back to his house, and her life changes forever.

I wish you the best of luck in your photojournalism journeys.

Keep in touch if you have any questions for me.

Best,
Jono

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My impression of Kyrgyzstan has been truly amazing. It is a beautiful country with warm and genuine people. However, human rights abuses and domestic violence cases do happen. The worst part of the whole experience was that I felt completely powerless to do anything. There will always be some lingering guilt in the back of my mind about not acting. After it all went down, I heaved a sigh and drank from my bowl of tea.

I promise I'll have some good stories about Kyrgyzstan soon.

http://jackiedewemathews.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_kidnapping#Kyrgyzstan
http://www.hrw.org/en/reports/2006/09/26/reconciled-violence